palinstation
"I can see the wormhole from my house"
8/31/10
"Facets", aka What-the-F-a-Thon
I fully anticipate and expect that "Dax" episodes are nearly as cringe-inducing as Bajoran episodes, but I need to somehow diffuse the high-pressure system that built up in my pre-frontal cortex while enduring 'Facets'.
The episode starts out with this gem from Dax herself:
Annoying? Check.
Awkward? Definitely.
Fits within Star Trek cannon? Basically, yes.
As any 3rd grader off the street would know, Dax is a living slug-trilobite that lives by maintaining a symbiotic relationship with a host/regular person, and lives hidden in their body on their spine somewhere that horrifies me. Commander Sisko regularly calls Dax "Old man" as the symbiote that is Dax is ~800 years old, and has lived in about a dozen or so hosts. This creates many an awkard situation throughout the series when the female host that Dax inhabits gets intimate with random male dudes throughout the gamma quadrant.
Uh, Ok. Fine.
It's the next few minutes that really spills the gravy on the Thanksgiving linens for me.
In "Facets", Dax wants to "meet" her former hosts by somehow downloading their personalities into her friends on DS9. (Sisko, Bashir, and the rest of the Deep Space Sugar Hill Gang.)
She gathers them in a room, and asks them if their willing to be temporarily "taken over" by the host personalities, which are essentially consolidated memories extracted from Dax. Some characters agree, and a scene ensues where some bajoran priest mumbles a bit and then lightning leaps out of Dax and into the other people in the episode.
Just so it's clear, I hate Star Trek Magic.
Later on Sisko is taken over by a murderer, and the highlight happens when Quark is taken over by a slinky/sassy female persona. Sorta like a car crash you can't look away from.
Anyways, it's all enough obfuscation to make anyone swear off this show.
I actually can't tell you how it ends because I stopped the insanity 28min and 15 seconds in, I just couldn't take it any more. I had to bail.
btw, really?
The episode starts out with this gem from Dax herself:
"If you don't mind, I'd like to borrow your bodies for a few hours"
Annoying? Check.
Awkward? Definitely.
Fits within Star Trek cannon? Basically, yes.
As any 3rd grader off the street would know, Dax is a living slug-trilobite that lives by maintaining a symbiotic relationship with a host/regular person, and lives hidden in their body on their spine somewhere that horrifies me. Commander Sisko regularly calls Dax "Old man" as the symbiote that is Dax is ~800 years old, and has lived in about a dozen or so hosts. This creates many an awkard situation throughout the series when the female host that Dax inhabits gets intimate with random male dudes throughout the gamma quadrant.
Uh, Ok. Fine.
It's the next few minutes that really spills the gravy on the Thanksgiving linens for me.
In "Facets", Dax wants to "meet" her former hosts by somehow downloading their personalities into her friends on DS9. (Sisko, Bashir, and the rest of the Deep Space Sugar Hill Gang.)
She gathers them in a room, and asks them if their willing to be temporarily "taken over" by the host personalities, which are essentially consolidated memories extracted from Dax. Some characters agree, and a scene ensues where some bajoran priest mumbles a bit and then lightning leaps out of Dax and into the other people in the episode.
Just so it's clear, I hate Star Trek Magic.
Later on Sisko is taken over by a murderer, and the highlight happens when Quark is taken over by a slinky/sassy female persona. Sorta like a car crash you can't look away from.
Anyways, it's all enough obfuscation to make anyone swear off this show.
I actually can't tell you how it ends because I stopped the insanity 28min and 15 seconds in, I just couldn't take it any more. I had to bail.
btw, really?
8/22/10
"Ahhh Mr. Bond"
-props to randomblog.org for this pic...
I had to post it because in the ~14 episodes of DS9 I've been drudging through there hasn't yet been one moment of joy, laughter, or just genuine entertainment on the intergalactic gas station that nearly equates to my reaction to this photo.
I had to post it because in the ~14 episodes of DS9 I've been drudging through there hasn't yet been one moment of joy, laughter, or just genuine entertainment on the intergalactic gas station that nearly equates to my reaction to this photo.
8/19/10
All new levels of f'ed up in "The Visitor", aka "Ghost Dad"
Bear with me, here we go...
-Jake Sisko and Papa Sisko go on spaceship analogue of a canoeride
-They somehow screw it up, Papa Sisko gets electrocuted by the warp drive
-This causes a rift in space-time-contiuuload-of-crap whatever thingy
-Papa Sisko gets vaporized, Jake Sisko cries for most of the episode
-Jake Sisko ages into an old man, here he is crying more:
(screenshot contains a chat with my friend Chrissie who's gracious enough to deal with my venting over this episode)
-Somehow Papa Sisko keeps reappearing every few decades as a ghost, despite being vaporized
-of course this traumatizes Jake, who cries more (lol?)
-SPOILER ALERT (who cares though)
-Jake decides to kill himself (episode highlight?) to stop pulling his dead ghost dad through time
-Basically, it works, BUT
-then Papa Sisko is back on the ship the moment before he gets vaporized
-Papa Sisko realizes he's about to pwn himself by holding the stick
-and decides to drop the metal stick that got him vaporized in the first place, thereby avoiding electrocution
-Papa Sisko sees Jake, and then takes over on crying duty for the rest of the episode
-Putting all the ludicrious elements of this episode aside, how does Papa Sisko know to drop the metal stick?
-I'm confounded, and will probably lose 1-2 minutes of sleep tonight over this.
-btw "Ghost Dad" was a pretty solid Bill Cosby movie when I was 12, it deserves mention as the basic story for this episode of DS9.
-Jake Sisko and Papa Sisko go on spaceship analogue of a canoeride
-They somehow screw it up, Papa Sisko gets electrocuted by the warp drive
-This causes a rift in space-time-contiuuload-of-crap whatever thingy
-Papa Sisko gets vaporized, Jake Sisko cries for most of the episode
-Jake Sisko ages into an old man, here he is crying more:
(screenshot contains a chat with my friend Chrissie who's gracious enough to deal with my venting over this episode)
-Somehow Papa Sisko keeps reappearing every few decades as a ghost, despite being vaporized
-of course this traumatizes Jake, who cries more (lol?)
-SPOILER ALERT (who cares though)
-Jake decides to kill himself (episode highlight?) to stop pulling his dead ghost dad through time
-Basically, it works, BUT
-then Papa Sisko is back on the ship the moment before he gets vaporized
-Papa Sisko realizes he's about to pwn himself by holding the stick
-and decides to drop the metal stick that got him vaporized in the first place, thereby avoiding electrocution
-Papa Sisko sees Jake, and then takes over on crying duty for the rest of the episode
-Putting all the ludicrious elements of this episode aside, how does Papa Sisko know to drop the metal stick?
-I'm confounded, and will probably lose 1-2 minutes of sleep tonight over this.
-btw "Ghost Dad" was a pretty solid Bill Cosby movie when I was 12, it deserves mention as the basic story for this episode of DS9.
8/18/10
QOTD: Garak yet again!
Season 4, Episode 1:
"We could stand here all day reminding ourselves just how much we HATE one another but YOU don't have the time."
- Garak the Tailor/International Spy of Mystery
"We could stand here all day reminding ourselves just how much we HATE one another but YOU don't have the time."
- Garak the Tailor/International Spy of Mystery
8/10/10
iPad's in Star Trek! (I called this)
From Ars Technica:
How Star Trek artists imagined the iPad... 23 years ago
One interesting characteristic of Star Trek: The Next Generation—one that separated it from the original series and most of the early films—was its widespread use of smooth, flat, touch-based control panels throughout the Enterprise-D. This touch interface was also used for numerous portable devices known as PADDs, or Personal Access Display Devices. These mobile computing terminals bear a striking resemblance to Apple's iPad—a mobile computing device largely defined by its smooth, flat touchscreen interface.
Read the full article at Ars...
How Star Trek artists imagined the iPad... 23 years ago
Read the full article at Ars...
8/8/10
An ending worthy of DS9-confusion in 'Termination Salvation'
I really need some help with this one...
(spoiler alert if you haven't seen Termy Salvy with Christian "You Don't Know How Hard This Is" Bale.)
Alright, two big issues here:
1st Big Issue: the always reliable method of
a) dousing a terminator with some lava-analogue and then promptly
b) coincidentally having some liquid-nitrogen on hand to freeze the crap
out of him doesn't take down the raging T-800 at the end of Termy Salvy. Huh.
c) YET, a big metal stick-through-the-neck DOES work? I guess that was the only
way thing they could come up with for Marcus Wright to actually do in this movie.
2nd Big Issue: they blown up the Skynet (ie Sauron-ripoff) Tower, thereby resolving the story.
a) wtf
b) why would skynet have an easlily-targeted monitoring tower when it controls a
(sky)network of GPS satellites. Is a "high" tower somehow helpful? It does glow
blue, standing out from all other surrounding skynet architecture, which could be
helpful then the T-600s, T-800s, T-1000s, and T-Xs forget how to get home at night.
c) why was there no redundancy of skynet? who cares if the building is blown?
d) In all the prior movies, the reason Skynet couldn't be defeated was that when it
became self aware it instantly copied itself into millions of computers around the
world, making erradication impossible. This movie ignores that. Awesome.
Only DS9 could refute this much story canon to easily get out of a tricky ending.
Eye of Skynet Tower
Eye of Sauron Tower
Wow.
(spoiler alert if you haven't seen Termy Salvy with Christian "You Don't Know How Hard This Is" Bale.)
Alright, two big issues here:
1st Big Issue: the always reliable method of
a) dousing a terminator with some lava-analogue and then promptly
b) coincidentally having some liquid-nitrogen on hand to freeze the crap
out of him doesn't take down the raging T-800 at the end of Termy Salvy. Huh.
c) YET, a big metal stick-through-the-neck DOES work? I guess that was the only
way thing they could come up with for Marcus Wright to actually do in this movie.
2nd Big Issue: they blown up the Skynet (ie Sauron-ripoff) Tower, thereby resolving the story.
a) wtf
b) why would skynet have an easlily-targeted monitoring tower when it controls a
(sky)network of GPS satellites. Is a "high" tower somehow helpful? It does glow
blue, standing out from all other surrounding skynet architecture, which could be
helpful then the T-600s, T-800s, T-1000s, and T-Xs forget how to get home at night.
c) why was there no redundancy of skynet? who cares if the building is blown?
d) In all the prior movies, the reason Skynet couldn't be defeated was that when it
became self aware it instantly copied itself into millions of computers around the
world, making erradication impossible. This movie ignores that. Awesome.
Only DS9 could refute this much story canon to easily get out of a tricky ending.
Eye of Skynet Tower
Eye of Sauron Tower
Wow.
Happy Terminating!
8/5/10
QOTD: now from a show I actually respect.
No silly, it's not DS9.
"All this quantum leaping I've been doing is like going on a blind date." -S.B.
"All this quantum leaping I've been doing is like going on a blind date." -S.B.
8/4/10
"Family Business" aka "Quark's Mom Naked"
I'm so upset I can barely type. In case you can't envision the horror, here's a teaser.
8/3/10
QOTD: Garak yet again!
From "The Die is Cast"
"I dont think interrogating someone who can change their shape at will can provide either amusement or information"
"I dont think interrogating someone who can change their shape at will can provide either amusement or information"
7/28/10
Best and Worst QOTD goes to Garak the Cardassian Tailor
Best: "The truth is usually just an excuse for lack of imagination"
Worst: "I never betrayed you, at least in my heart"
Keep it up Garak!
Worst: "I never betrayed you, at least in my heart"
Keep it up Garak!
 |
| Thanks to 'lordmagnusen' from DeviantArt for this awesome Garak pic. |
@Apologist re: Miles O'Brien
Yes, Miles is indeed a fine character.
He elevated the art of transporting (formerly only performed by red-shirts) into a full career (sorta like a techified-tollbooth worker.) Then he was able to convince upper management that his ability to hit a button to ENORJIZE should translate into a LIKE-A-BOWS Chief Engineer posting on DS9.
Huh.
This leads us to the inescapable conclusion that a Transporter Jockey on TNG = Chief Engineer on DS9, showcasing the greatly reduced expectations of DS9 characters and capabilities.
Since he originated in TNG, he can't be considered for adding value to DS9 even if he could pulp Geordi in a fight.
He elevated the art of transporting (formerly only performed by red-shirts) into a full career (sorta like a techified-tollbooth worker.) Then he was able to convince upper management that his ability to hit a button to ENORJIZE should translate into a LIKE-A-BOWS Chief Engineer posting on DS9.
Huh.
This leads us to the inescapable conclusion that a Transporter Jockey on TNG = Chief Engineer on DS9, showcasing the greatly reduced expectations of DS9 characters and capabilities.
Since he originated in TNG, he can't be considered for adding value to DS9 even if he could pulp Geordi in a fight.
I'm the Apologist
Howdy, folks. So, I guess I should start my role as the DS9 apologist of this blog. You see, I'm the one who insisted that Danny Guy watch the series, given his enjoyment of Trek. However, despite my best efforts to persuade him otherwise, he still started on Season 3, which of course, is still in the "what the fuck" phase of the series.
My first action as apologist: give the series major props for starring one of TNG's under appreciated gems--Miles O'Brien. He's quite frankly one of the only characters in TNG that wasn't running around acting like they weren't a real person. He is, in fact, not just a real person, but my hero.
7/27/10
TV Barkeeps: who is your favorite?
Quark?: DS9
Moe?: Simpsons
Sam?: Cheers
My personal favorite is Dan Dority from Deadwood because he also does Al Swearengen's dirty work no questions asked.
Moe?: Simpsons
Sam?: Cheers
My personal favorite is Dan Dority from Deadwood because he also does Al Swearengen's dirty work no questions asked.
"Through the looking glass"
Star Trek can't resist "alternate universes" where all the good guys play bad guys. Mind you, they're still "nice" bad guys ie they don't stab anyone in the face or just kill at will by sending people to sleep with the fishes (myah, see?), they're candy-coated bad guys.
Anyways, back to the action, my favorite quote from today's gem comes from Garak, who is usually the Cobbler/Tailer on DS9. (Why they need someone to make clothing when they have replicators is worth a separate post all by itself, but that's for another demusement.)
"If you need anyone to beat him into submission for you, don't hesitate to call me." - Garak
Oh, and Tuvok showed up in this episode, which probably ruins the space-time-continuum but who cares since it's DS9.
Anyways, back to the action, my favorite quote from today's gem comes from Garak, who is usually the Cobbler/Tailer on DS9. (Why they need someone to make clothing when they have replicators is worth a separate post all by itself, but that's for another demusement.)
"If you need anyone to beat him into submission for you, don't hesitate to call me." - Garak
Oh, and Tuvok showed up in this episode, which probably ruins the space-time-continuum but who cares since it's DS9.
7/26/10
Bashir gets "Palpatined"-to-the-max in "Distant Voices"
"Visionary": gives Time Cop a run for it's money
In terms of "spinning the wheel of excessive time travel" this episode is only trumped by the work of the one and only JCVD.
DS9 episode endings...
Why do all DS9 episodes finish with a "cool-down"?
(blatant recap of story, unique/bad music, painfully obvious moral lesson)
Is that because this show aired when aerobics was popular?
(blatant recap of story, unique/bad music, painfully obvious moral lesson)
Is that because this show aired when aerobics was popular?
"Alexander" gets busted
http://www.shockya.com/news/2010/04/11/brain-bonsall-from-family-ties-pled-guilty-to-assault/
6/28 (backpost)
The only tangible thing I have yet to see Bashir do is get an innocent revolutionary killed in DS9 S3 Ep. 7, and causing a catastophic ripple affect in space-time-continuum.
Dassuh fail raht dere.
Dassuh fail raht dere.
DS9 puzzlement of the day: 7/2
In all other ST series, there is no currency used within the Federation. Quark & Friends live on latinum, which disrupts the continuity of no currency. How many other facets of ST can DS9 'disrupt'?
Season 3, "Visionary"
HOW is it POSSIBLE for Bashir to diagnose the cumulative effects of time shifting? Is he privy to this info? More DS9 non-sense to jump-stop the week.
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